PARA 1: Flies, flies, flies. The WHOLE thing needs to be completed.
PARA 2: A bird soaring across the granite sky would see, far below, hell itself. Hell with all its fiends and flames. It might wonder what had become of humanity. It might be relieved as it views with its beady eye this mess that it can escape. It could fly on. Swiftly. Free. Or it might not care.
Framework: A bird VERB across the ADJECTIVE sky would see, far below,METAPHOR. CONTINUATION OF METAPHOR. It might wonder …. It might be relieved as it views with its beady eye this mess that it can escape. SEVERAL SHORT SENTENCES FOR IMPACT.
PARA 3: Consider the man in white. My heart is beating out of time and my stomach lurches. Blood punching in my ears sounds like a pressure gauge, or an engine at full throttle with the pistons pumping. My fists clench and unclench as the sweat begins to rip through my pores like an old friend you left for good but still keep coming back to. The panic engulfs me like flames; I am out of control. REMEMBER TO CHANGE THIS TO THIRD PERSON. You also MUST adapt this rather than simply copying. If only…; if only…; if only…. Then…
PARA 4: In years to come – perhaps even next month- this will be remembered. Not, perhaps, by the history books, but by those who were there. It will be passed down by word of mouth from person to person to person. It will become a part of social memory, of family pride, of an individual’s life story.
PARA 5: For now, though, all I can see is….